Getting Married (Part One)

No, I'm not getting married. Just wondered how many people's attention I'd get with that title...

I don't often write about things this personal on this public space, but what the heck, why not? My poor roommate has heard me hash over all these things several times, so now the rest of you can enjoy (or shake your head in confusion) over my inner monologue as well:

I have just finished reading this book. The content of the book is not quite as provocative as the title ("Get Married: What Women Can Do To Help It Happen") makes it sound. It certainly isn't a 1-2-3 step-by-step guidebook on how to find and snag a husband. Instead, it discusses how women can live intentionally about getting married, even if marriage does not appear to be in their near future. The author of the book is the founder and a frequent writer on the webzine "boundless.org". As I've mentioned before, I've found this webzine to be very encouraging as I live the single life, so pretty much most of what I've written here is a regurgitation of others' original thoughts from that site.

Because of my affection for this website, and the fact that I'm turning 30 in a couple of weeks and still single, I picked up this book. "Why not?" I thought. My current course doesn't seem to be getting me any closer to being married that I was several years ago, so maybe this book would have some insight. As for the book, I have found it to be equal parts encouraging and discouraging.

Let's start with the encouraging: To start with, the author pointed out that most people do get married...even if they get married later in life than they had expected. Okay, that's a relief!

One of the most refreshing things I've realized over the past couple of months is that it is okay to admit a desire to be married. I think sometimes singles get the message that we shouldn't admit a desire to be married, because that could demonstrate that we're not "satisfied in Christ alone". (And everyone knows that once you reach the optimal "satisfaction" level, Mr. Right will knock on the door with flowers and a ring. Right.) Maybe I was a dunce about it, but for me this was like a big sigh of relief...to know that it was okay, natural, and good to desire to be married. After all, this is how God made us - to be in relationship with others. (The author points out that at creation the only thing that God pronounced "not good" was that man was alone. Hence, He created woman and marriage.) And I do desire to be married. Although God has specifically gifted some people to live a life of singleness, I'm pretty confident I don't have that gift. While being single does have its blessings (such as more free time, independence, quietness, and nights of uninterrupted sleep), the desire to be married remains, and I'm feeling okay with that, beccause I believe that's how God made me.

Another encouraging thing about this book was the notion of praying boldly. That means just how it sounds, and this article pretty much says it all. So check out that article.

As far as the discouraging parts of the book...that has to do more with our society and that oh-so-important other part of getting married...the men. Stay tuned for more...