The Hardest Command

Few commands in Scripture expose my sin more than Romans 12:15: "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn". Not that last part...I can mourn and cry with someone who is hurting as good as anybody. But that first part? The rejoicing part? Yeah...that one can be tough.

Does anyone else struggle with this? I know the many ways I struggle with this, and can only image some of the others:

• Rejoicing with a friend who just landed her dream job...and you feel stuck in a dead-end place?
• Rejoicing with a family member over a report of healing and restoration of health...when your test results come back with only bad news? 
• Rejoicing with that student intern at work twelve years your junior over her engagement...while the hope of marriage remains unfilled in your life? 
• Rejoicing with a fellow church member over a struggling marriage restored....when yours just seems to crumble further?
• Rejoicing with a friend over (yet another) pregnancy announcement...when infertility seems to be the rule in your life?

Why is this so hard? For me, it's because it exposes my sin of anxiety. The anxiety that rises when it feels like God has a limited amount of "good stuff" to give out, and He's giving to everyone but me, and that He'll not have any left by the time He (finally, eventually, ever?) gets to me. Anxiety and fear of the future if my prayers are not answered in the way I want them to be. What if this job is all I ever have? What if the cancer returns? What if we never have a child? What if....what if....what if...

It also exposes my sin of self-centeredness and self-righteousness. Rejoicing with those who rejoice requires me to take my eyes off myself and put them first on God, and then on the other person. That's hard to do because I like to look at myself, my needs, my wants. Or, I fall into thinking that I deserve just as much good as the other person is now experiencing...and in fact, maybe I deserve a little bit more, considering that I have waited longer, or have worked harder, or have endured more. The words of Hebrews 4:12 are true...the words of Scripture truly do expose the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

I see an answer though, to this dilemma a few verses prior, also in Romans 12, versus 9 - 13:

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Something tells me that if I was a bit more diligent in "being joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer", the command to "rejoice with those who rejoice" that comes a few lines later may be a bit easier. Not that being joyful + patient + faithful in prayer = God answering my prayer the way I want Him too...but rather being joyful + patient + faithful in prayer = a reorienting of my perspective off from myself, and onto God and the needs (and joys) of those around me.

Maybe, Lord willing, as I focus my gaze more on God and on the needs and joys of others, I will be able to say more fully:

Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
      How unsearchable His judgments,
      and His paths beyond tracking out!
Who has known the mind of the Lord?
     Or who has been His counselor?
Who has ever given to God,
     that God should repay them?
For from Him and through Him and for Him are all things.
    To Him be the glory forever! Amen. (Rom 11:33-36)