When God Is (Not) Like My Kindergarten Teacher

I don't have the most fond memories of my kindergarten teacher. I'm sure she was a fine teacher, and I'm sure that the 30 years between my time in her class and now have skewed my memory a bit, but I don't remember her being the world's most warm, kind, and caring person. This is largely due to one incident that has stuck with me all these years.

When I was in kindergarten, the "big kids" from 6th grade would regularly come down to our classroom and help us little kids with various projects. At the end of the school year, we were going to have a celebration after recess thanking the "big kids" for all their help. The kindergartners were instructed to stay on the front playground during recess, as we would be called in early for the party. (The elementary school I went to for kindergarten had a playground in front of the school, and one in the back.) I apparently forgot these instructions. That is, until I came in from recess at the normal time and walked in to the classroom to find the party pretty much over. I had missed the entire thing. (You may wonder why I hadn't noticed that none of my other little kindergarten classmates weren't on the back playground with me? I don't know, my memory isn't that good.) On the bus ride home that afternoon one of my classmates asked me where I had been during the party. Through my tears, I answered that I had forgotten about the recess instructions, and therefore missed the party. Truth be told, I was also upset at my teacher for not noticing that I was missing from the party and for not coming out to find me.

Sometimes I fall into the trap of thinking of God as my kindergarten teacher. I think he has forgotten me on the back playground, causing me to miss out on some of the big things in life, like marriage and family or career opportunities. Hasn't he noticed that I'm missing from the party? Why hasn't he called me in to enjoy these good things too? The other kids are there, why can't I be there too?

The marriage and family party? That's not a gathering I've been invited to yet. So in the meantime, I need to live by faith in this season of un-marriedness, confident that God is trustworthy in his timing and plan.

An awesome career where I'm spending my days fighting against injustice and bringing hope to the dark places? I'm not sure I'll ever be invited to that party. Perhaps the party I'm invited to is the one filled with spreadsheets, federal regulations, and trying to figure out the government's next big plan for solving the country's social problems.

Whenever I'm tempted to think of God like my kindergarten teacher, I am reminded of how in the most important way he is not like her. I was disobedient to my kindergarten teacher. Whether it was willfully or through my own forgetfulness, I disobeyed her instructions, and paid the consequence. God, however, in the midst of my disobedience to him, did not leave me on the back playground. He came and found me. And when he found me, he didn't just call from the doorway of the school to come in, but he walked across the playground, took my hand, and said "This way my child. The party - that one that really matters for all eternity - is here with me. Come inside."

That's a celebration worth missing recess for.